What do you do...

What do you do when you accomplish one of your dreams?

What do you do when you complete something that was on your bucket list?

What do you do when a chapter in your life comes to an end?

I have realized that I have been extremely emotional the past couple of weeks in regards to graduating because I am accomplishing one of my dreams. Before I had my transplant and my health was in poor shape, I placed "obtaining my college degree" on my bucket list, because I was unsure if it would actually ever happen. AND NOW, IT'S HAPPENING!!! God has been extremely gracious towards me over my lifetime, but I just can't explain how much grace, love, and peace I feel today.

As I was finishing my last undergraduate paper today I realized that I have been procrastinating because I knew that once I finished that paper, I would complete the last paper of my undergraduate degree. Likewise, during my final test today, I paused for a moment before I came to the last couple of questions of the test, knowing that once I filled in those answers, I would be finishing the last test of my undergraduate degree and I would be finished with school completely. After filling in all of the short answers and looking over my test, I paused, noting how precious my experience at Biola has been. It's not the campus or even the classes that I will miss the most, but the people that I have come to know and love. The people of Biola make up what I have come to know and love at the "Biola experience." From the fabulous professors who have challenged me and helped mold me into the woman I am today, to friends who have encouraged me and supported me in my walk with Christ; it's the people of Biola that I will miss the most.

So here is my answer to the above questions: cry, laugh, dance (as long as it's not at a Biola sponsored event, hahaha), be joyful. God has given me so much to be thankful for and I can't express this thankfulness in just one type of emotion. So I will express my thankfulness in any way I know how, but most of all through praising HIS name.

(cheers to returning to Biola in the future, whether it is to audit a class or possibly become part of the fabulous faculty, AND to praising the name of Jesus for all that he has done and has yet to do)

2 Years Out (Video)

2 years ago I posted a video marking my last night with CF lungs. To keep with the theme of posting a video the night before my transplant date, I created the following video to share a visual of what has happened since then.

My Boyfriend

So after six years of an "on again/off again" relationship, my boyfriend and I are splitting up. It's relatively mutual in that we both have learned all we can from one another, however I feel that he wants to leave me more than I want to leave him. I definitely am not ready for us to go our separate ways.

We started our relationship in 2007 and were going strong for a year when I broke up with him in order improve my own person. I needed to be a better individual for myself and for him; I could only make these improvements with time alone. This break lasted for two years and then we finally got back together. It was so nice to be back with each other, it just felt right. After a year of going strong, sadly I broke up with him yet again because I realized I hadn't quite become the person I thought was good enough to make the relationship work successfully. But after a year apart and having worked on improving myself, I came running back to him. This time we have been going strong for a year and a half, but sadly the relationship has run its course; it is time to go our separate ways. We both have left our mark on one another, but these relationships can only last so long.

Now if you are utterly confused, you should be. For those of you who know me well there has never been mention of said boyfriend, so how in the world did I hide this relationship so well. Well, that's because this relationship isn't actually with a person, it's with my theoretical boyfriend, "Biola University."

I was talking with some fabulous friends a few days ago and we talked about how for some of us school takes the time and place of a boyfriend. The time spent on getting to know one another and learning from each other that occurs in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, has been spent in school. I feel that I have been so dedicated to school over the past years, or dedicated to getting back to it, that school in a sense has been the focal relationship in my life (other than my relationship with God of course).

With graduation taking place next week, I have been having a whiplash of emotions. Sometimes I get so excited about what is on the other side of that stage, and other times I think about the great people I will miss, as well as the great environment of Biola. Sometimes the thought of graduating is utterly heartbreaking, and other times it utterly exhilarating.

All this to say that my boyfriend is breaking up with me and I am going to miss him dearly.

(cheers to building new relationships and savoring the memories of the old ones)

Thankful

Yes, it is December 1st, but I never posted about what I am thankful for in November, so here it is.

There is so much to be thankful for this year, I thought I would just list a few...

• great company - I am so thankful for family. I am thankful for the support that we give one another, the love that we have for one another, and the willingness to hear each others opinions (even if we don't agree). I am so thankful for friends. I am thankful for the open communication we have with one another, the support we give one another, and the prayer we offer one another.
• great health - I am thankful for the grace God has shown me over the past year and the good health he has blessed me with.
• great education - I am thankful to be graduating from college this semester and all that awaits me on the other side of that platform.

And I am thankful for my cousin (you know who you are) who reads this blog. You are amazing and I am so blessed to be your cousin. I can't wait to see what God has in store for you in the future.

(cheers to another year full of things to be thankful for)